"The Real Deal"
"For many years, we have prayed about and hoped for a service like yours, one that is willing to be overtly Christian, and one that promotes marriage within Godly, healthy parameters."
Ready to move forward and "Get Out Of The Boat?"
Finally, believers have a common connection point to find each other and take a step towards a new relationship.
Expert Articles
Providing advice and information to members is a crucial key ingredient to the overall structure of Cache’ Connections. We are not only interested in introducing you to other Christian singles, but are here to help navigate the issues that you may be facing. In this section, Cache’ Connections makes available to you a wealth of information provided by our Christian experts. These professionals have spent years counseling, instructing, speaking and coaching on single-relevant topics. We encourage everyone to spend some time reading the articles in order to prepare for successful relationships.
Don’t Let Blind Spots Blindside Your Relationships
December 27, 2009
When driving, we've been taught to identify blind spots. We learn that in order to ensure our safety, it's critical we turn our heads before making a lane change.
Just like those visual blind spots we experience when driving, we all have relational blind spots-things we can't see or traits we discount in others. And, it's these relational blind spots that can cause us to make unwise choices in our friendships or dating relationships.
So, how can we avoid some of those dating disasters? Let's look at the analogy of visual blind spots for answers.
Educate Yourself about Your Relational Blind Spots
Even though you think you can see who someone really is, the reality is you probably miss or ignore certain qualities in someone who attracts you. A single guy, named Kevin, once asked me after experiencing a bad break-up, "How did I miss the fact that she was so controlling? Why didn't I see that sooner?"
What Kevin came to realize is that it's common for us to concentrate on a few traits we find attractive, such as looks or career. But, as a result, we fail to see the whole person with all of their strengths and weaknesses.
Kevin learned to take more time getting to know someone first. In his next relationship, he dated a beautiful woman. But, he began to realize that her love of shopping was more about avoiding her problems than being fiscally responsible. Kevin knew that until she addressed this issue, he could find himself responsible for a huge credit card debt if they got married. His ability to recognize a blind spot helped him slow things down and protect his heart.
Imagine you're backing up in your car, and you're about to hit an object that you can't see. Wouldn't you appreciate a passenger saying, "Are you aware of that car behind
you?" Your trust in that person would help you heed the warning and avoid potential danger.
In the same way, you may hesitate to invite feedback from others about your current relationship for fear they will say something uncomfortable. Sometimes, however, it's easier for other people to see obvious problems that you can't discern. And, those who "ride through life with you" want to protect your heart from unnecessary trauma and pain.
Therefore, don't be too quick to tune out the suggestions of your family, close friends, or a counselor. Sure, they may seem like they're being over-protective, but their viewpoint could help you avoid a relational wreck. Consider the perspective of others, and appreciate the risk they take to share what they see.
For instance, Gayle was happily dating Tom until one night her mother said, "Gayle, I have concerns about your relationship. Your father doesn't like Tom, and your brother doesn't like him either. Tom has nice qualities, but we don't think he's a good fit for you."
At first, Gayle was stunned by her mother's comment. But, she knew it had not been given in an angry or condemning way. She reflected on her family's feedback, and today, 30 years later, Gayle is happily married to a man named Chuck.